|Lifetime specializes in movie posters that|
don't require the hiring of a graphic designer
"The Craigslist Killer" (or the//craiglist.killer), as you've probably figured, is based on Philip Markoff's 2009 murder of Julissa Brisman, a provider of "erotic services" on Craiglist. You also won't be surprised to hear that in the movie, Julissa is a licensed massage therapist who is innocently setting up her massage table in her hotel room when Markoff shows up and shoots her.
|Markoff quietly experiencing|
|Sam "oh, THAT guy!" McMurray |
in better-looking days
|Even her friends wish|
she was Katherine Heigel
Speaking of the Erotic Services, Lifetime is (of course) prudely vague about what these women or Markoff are doing on Craiglist--except for a 2-second shot of a fuzzy image of a woman in her bra. Markoff is on Craiglist clandestinely throughout the entire movie, whether he's on his laptop while hanging out the couch with the gf or hunched over his desktop late at night, rebelliously drinking wine while he scours craigslist for suitable marks. Best of all, the sound editors helpfully added typing noises while we watch Markoff stare at the Craiglist home page, not typing anything.
|This is the 37th movie in which|
a Baldwin has played a Boston cop
Which is strange, because when I find out my boyfriend is a STD-ridden murderer I usually go curl up in the shower for several days...not reminisce about how I wanted to have his babies.
But hey, at least I got to see a guy who's way too Christian-looking for me to ever be attracted to him propose to his girlfriend in a horse-drawn carriage via dialogue so bad my ears lit on fire and I had to fast-forward. And isn't that what every woman wants in a Lifetime movie?