Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Sundays at Tiffany's

As every regular Lifetime viewer knows, sometimes we women don't realize it when we're dating a rude asshole who doesn't care about our opinion, know us very well, or do his share of the apartment cleaning/wedding planning. Unfortunately, our only recourse is to date these jerks until another, much better, man comes along and points out how wrong we really are.

"Sundays at Tiffany's," the latest Alyssa Milano and Lifetime original movie, is just such a story, with an engaged Alyssa running into an hot, old friend and romping in the snow in Central Park with him until they inevitably end up in bed. But then the hottie friend has to leave. So after stating over and over that her fiance is a "good man" and giving no other reason she'd like to marry him, Alyssa walks down the aisle with him anyway, only to dump him at the end of it when they can't resolve a spat about their honeymoon that they have in front of all their guests. Alyssa runs off in her wedding gown and reunites with the hottie, who proposes to her.


This would be a pretty normal Lifetime movie--perhaps not even worth a mention on this blog--except that, in an homage to "Drop Dead Fred," the hottie friend is IMAGINARY. At this point, you may have a few FAQs. Like,
Q: So nobody else can see him?
A: No, everybody else can see him, even though no one could when Alyssa was little. And he can talk to other imaginary friends. Yeah...it doesn't really make any sense.
Q: Where has he been in the meantime, and where does he have to "go" when he tells Alyssa he has to leave?
A: Not explained, except that he has to go because it's "the rules."
Q: Why doesn't Alyssa ask him where he's been, or where he's going, or who wrote these "rules"?
A: No idea.
Q: So Alyssa doesn't mind that he's imaginary, she's just going to marry him anyway?
A: Apparently so.
Q: Is he human? Can he feel pain? Is he immortal? Can he have children? What is the punishment for breaking the rules? Does he have a social security number? Will he randomly disappear again?
A: Unknown.



Unfortunately, "Sundays at Tiffany's" would still be unwatchable, even if the movie had answered any one of these questions (I'm not asking for anything plausible--but something closer to Mannequin's "I'm an Egyptian spirit" and further from The Lake House's "Oh, I guess you're writing to me from a different decade" would have been appreciated). The imaginary friend's hotness is greatly detracted from by his 12-year-old attitude and mid-movie performance of "Can't Touch This," and there's a whole side-plot where he gets a job as a dishwasher and moves up to chef in a couple of months. Stockard Channing is completely one-dimensional and wasted as Alyssa's mom, and there's a therapist who has a green light outside of her office that lights up when she's ready to see a patient. And in case you were wondering, Tiffany's is only in the movie to give it its title. But if you're a WASP, you'll love that the whole thing takes place at Christmastime! So don't worry, Lifetime will be running this one three more times in the next two weeks, and then we can look forward to seeing it next year. Merry Christmas to all!
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